🔗 Share this article This Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Past Year. Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with woeful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob? The Kim Kardashian Drama ‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’ But that was practically the smallest of this drama's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The laughably wooden writing? The tedious veneration of affluence and materialism? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to. AKA Charlie Sheen Given the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist. The Supercomputer Drama Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost. MobLand Dodgy characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back. In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which felt rather simplistic. The Meghan Markle Series Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh. Victoria Beckham There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Rather, the experience was akin to reading a sales catalogue. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series. The Inheritance It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to detail what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it. Too Much How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable. Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping Not good enough to be ‘patchy’. Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer. The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so. Prime Target We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers. The Bonnie Blue Documentary This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was way more examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.